So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
