I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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