No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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