that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I can't put those talents on a resume
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Randomize
