I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize