Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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