Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
