I'd wear matching sweaters with you
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
