I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
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