You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Randomize
