I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Randomize
