Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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