Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Someone signed my nipple.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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