...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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