he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
