ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
