This gyro tastes like lonliness
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
