What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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