I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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