Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
don't judge my taste in strippers
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
