okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
i now understand why vodka
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Randomize