Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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