Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
