my mouth tastes like poor choices
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
