I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
