I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
handjob tips. give me some.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
