My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
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