my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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