just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Randomize
