well you can't waste a boner
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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