Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
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