Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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