god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
