You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize