When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
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