you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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