WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
