A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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