i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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