I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
tell me about the eggs
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
