Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
We don't watch enough power rangers
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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