No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
