STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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