this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
