If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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