I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Blow job season was short but glorious.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I came so hard my ears popped.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
