Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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