I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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