She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
