Soap is not a condiment
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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