Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize