I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
