yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
