But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
