Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
