I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
