Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
