your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Randomize
