Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
