ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
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