Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
