I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
