It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
