Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
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