If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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