remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize