i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
