I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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