The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
