At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
