How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize