she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
