mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
