you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
