My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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